So my girlfriends sock was lying on the ground inside out and I was afraid I’d wake her up from laughing so hard.
1. You did not love me. Give up your game; you lost many months ago. Your heart is cold, rotting slowly; nobody can find their way past those black stone walls.
2. You never knew me, not the way he does. You do not know every inch of my skin: every scar, freckle, flaw. You do not know why I cry myself to sleep, and why I smile when I wake in the morning. You do not know a thing – do not fool yourself.
3. I did love you. I loved you recklessly. I loved you the way nobody wants to be loved – for my love was destructive. I could feel myself falling, and I wanted so desperately to pull you down with me. But I never could. And so I stopped grasping at your shirt collar, and hoisted myself up alone.
4. Stop hurting yourself; you are only hurting others in the process. I’m begging you now: let that pain go.
5. I am curled up inside my bed sheets, eyes closed and ears open. I have always loved the sound of rain hitting windowpanes. Rain always made me think of you: sudden; overwhelming; vengeful.
6. I was never disappointed in you – I was disappointed in this person you have become. What has happened to your heart? Where has it gone?
7. It was never meant to be. From the moment we met, I think we both knew.
8. You used to make my soul leap out of my skin, wanting to catch a glimpse of the boy I used to think of so fondly. But now, my flesh shivers in fear; you do not hold the power over my body that you once did.
9. I am sorry that you are alone – but I cannot be the one to fix you. I cannot bandage up your sores, and kiss your bruises until they heal. I can only be your friend, and if that is not enough, then I will walk away.
10. I have felt ill since those words left my lips – I should never have said them. Why now? If you did not love me then, nothing has changed.
11. Perhaps I am cruel, but I am also in love. Falling changes you, you and I both know that. But feelings that are unreciprocated? Those hurt more than anything I have ever known.
12. Your world began to disintegrate long before I arrived. Your love is beautiful – but it does not belong to me.
13. I was never able to distinguish between truth and reality. Your words blur into one, they become empty.
14. I have painted my heart yellow. That was always my favourite colour when I was with you. I am trying to be happy. Why can’t you be happy, too?
15. We will never be in love."
my little sister sleeps with a box of cheez-its next to her pillow and i always thought it was because she’s lazy and likes to have it for convenient snacking but last night she told me it’s because she likes seeing it first thing when she wakes up to remind her there’s good in the world